“Nothing has transformed by life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.” (Brene Brown)
The pain of rejection will often cause us to act out of fear instead of boldness. I have seen this in my own life several times, starting from a young age, when my response to someone rejecting me would be to retreat into my shell and hide away. The pain of rejection was something I would carry for long periods of time, after the incident occurred, which was often worse than the rejection itself. I also grew up being a people-pleaser, as a safety blanket to win the approval of others, rather than standing up for myself.
Thankfully, I learnt to build my life on what God thinks of me and this solid foundation has given me the security to no longer hustle for the approval of others but rather remain my authentic self. Most of the time the people who are critical of us have a poor self-image and finding things wrong with others is a way of avoiding facing the pain of how they feel about themselves. Hurting people hurt people.
Don’t let the way that other people treat you determine your value and worth.
I wish I could say I always live out those words, but I don’t! It’s a constant journey and although I have grown over the years, I still battle when confronted with rejection. A recent attack last week left me feeling hurt, with their attitude towards me controlling my thoughts for days. However, one of the most valuable lessons I learnt, was to realize it is their problem, not mine and I cannot do anything about what people think. I can simply be myself.
There have been a lot of people saying unkind things lately, but it is best to largely ignore it, as it blows over and they will move on to someone else. However, I do think it is important, for myself included, to remember these words too: