I haven’t written a blog for weeks and so much has happened, with both physical and emotional challenges coming my way that have left me depleted and scared. I don’t look like myself, I don’t feel like myself, but this season of life is not going to defeat me. This is not going to steal my joy. When everything settles, I will be standing strong and I believe the same for all of you, as you are fighting your own battles.
We have to trust our journey, even when we don’t understand it.
I am usually able to keep an enthusiastic spirit no matter what life throws my way, but it has been necessary to sit in the shadows first and be still, while remembering what really matters in life and humbly surrender my burdens to God through my tears and fears. I realize now I need to stop venting and start praying because I need strength to keep fighting.
I am not going to write about these challenges here. They will be ongoing for months to come and although I have been knocked down on the outside, as we all experience when things come against us, the key is to learn how to get up on the inside and remain positive. This doesn’t mean ignoring the negative but overcoming the negative, and even though it feels like life is caving in and it is hard to breathe, I will keep fighting to stay in an attitude of faith.
It is during the tough times that we find out what we are really made of. We all face struggles, challenges and confusing circumstances when things don’t go our way. Ultimately, they refine and change you and good can come out of it, but gosh it is so very hard in the moment. It tests your endurance and character, but you cannot give up. You cannot quit. I have to believe that even though I am feeling weak now, these struggles will give me strength.
A strong person is not one who doesn’t cry but instead is one who sheds tears for a moment and then picks themselves up and carries on fighting. I may do this several times over, bit by bit, up and down. Healing is weird like that. However, I know from experience that most of life’s valuable lessons are learnt through pain, and I won’t let it turn my heart into something ugly. Someday I will look back, and know exactly why this had to happen.